Thoughts on Forgiveness

Forgiveness is such a big subject. There are so many questions that come with it.. does forgiving mean that you are saying that what the person did to you was not hurtful? Or that you don't feel they should apoligize to you first & take resonsibility for the hurt they caused you? I read some quotes today on the subject, and wanted to post them. Some that stood out to me, but that can maybe help you if you're in this situation.

I have been on both sides: been hurt feeling the other person should take the first step to make amends; and been forgiven for what I've done. But the times that I have chosen not to hold onto the hurt & have forgiven in my heart, those are the times when I haven't had turmoil & sleepless nights, when the hurt others inflicted through lies or gossip hasn't caused me to be wounded beyond repair. And, as I read in one of the quotes, you're only doing yourself a favour, ridding yourself of that hold that the wrong that was done has on you. You're taking back your life.


"You don't have to feel that the person deserves forgiveness. They don't even have to be sorry or acknowledge that they've done anything wrong. Forgiveness is something you do for yourself.."

"Forgiveness, at its core, is not about what someone did to you; neither do the issues of why, how, when or where need to have any bearing on it.. Forgiveness if for you."

"Love lets the past die. It moves people to a new beginning without settling the past. Love does not have to clear up all past misunderstandings. The details of the past become irrelevant; only its new beginning matter. Accounts may go unsettled; differences remain unsolved; ledgers stay unbalanced. Conflicts between people's memories of how things happened are not cleared up; the past stays muddled. Only the future matters. Love's power does not make fussy historians. Lover prefers to tuck the loose ends of past rights and wrongs in the bosom of forgiveness- and puskes us into a new start." -Lewis B. Smedes

"Forgiveness brings healing."

"The ability to forgive is a sign of strength of character."

"My idea of forgiveness is letting go of resentment.. ridding yourself of negative thoughts. All they do is make you miserable Believe me, you can fret and fume all you want, but whoever it was that wronged you is not suffering from your anguish whatsoever." -Della Reese

"One of the secrets to a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody, everything, every night before you go to bed." -Bernard M. Baruch

"To forgive the unforgivable, forgive right away. Forgiveness becomes harder once you have let yourself become hardened or resentful toward a person or a situation."

"The more you resent someone, the more what they did to you will hurt you and damage your spirit. This wound will never close, and its poison will someday ruin your life.. Take back your life and reclaim your happiness."

"Resentment comes from two Latin words meaning "to feel again". When we resent, we allow the negative emotions we feel at the time of hurt- a disappointment, a betrayal- to recur long after the event is over, flooding our systems with their poisons over and over again. Because of its effect on the human mind and body, it does not matter how "justified" the resentment is. In my 27 years as a practicing psychiatrist- and in the 15 years before that when I was a medical doctor- I have come to regard resentment as a cancer of the personality that is as deadly as any physical growth." -James A Stringham MD

"..To offer forgiveness even to those who have purposely and knowingly hurt you.. is to save your own life and heart and sanity and happiness.."

"A person who has an unforgiving spirit is always the real loser, much more so than the one against whom the grudge is held.." -Charles Stanley

"By refusing to forgive and by waiting for restitution to be made, individuals allow their personal growth and development to hinge on the decision of others they dislike to begin with. They allow themselves to be held hostage. They say, "If he apoligizes." "If she comes back to me." "If he rehires me." "If they invite me." They play the game of waiting for others to make the first move. In the meantime they allow an unforgiving spirit to weave its way into the total fabric of their lives." -Charles Stanley